this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
