He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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