I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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