Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
