even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
