he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize