Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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