Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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