Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She bit a glass in half.
i drank out of a bidet.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
