This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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