Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
