You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
There's even glitter on my cock...
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