Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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