apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
