I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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