We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
