You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize