whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
