better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize