she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
