he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
