Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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