his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize