The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
