so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
