yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
