Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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