i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
