I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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