she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
