Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
