I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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