I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
