The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
