i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We have started to decorate penises.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
