I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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