We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
