I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize