I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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