This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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