I am in a vortex of obligation.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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