My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
