I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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