i barfeds in our rink
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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