it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
