I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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