I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
