But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
