Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
