PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I CAN MOONWALK!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
