I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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