I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
