think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
