There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
