I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
