i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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