she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize