im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
