Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
