I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
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