So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
