I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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