party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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