Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
