(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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