the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize