I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just forgot I was standing up.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
